Posted Jul 13 2012 by Jen in Videos with 60 Comments
Amazing. I am always so happy to see people turn a bad situation around and make it into something wonderful.
Thank you so much, David.
You are amazing! You are going to make a big difference in a lot of lives. I am extremely proud of you. Aunt Elaine
Thank you! I’m extremely proud to have you as my aunt.
I think you are probably way too pretty for your x! And smart too. Too many men can’t handle real women. Looks and intelligence are pretty intimidating. My X said the same thing, and for awhile, I believed it! However, it’s not me going to prison for white collar fraud! And it’s not him getting his Ph’d……thanks for this site……young girls need to learn that not all women are anorexic with fake boobs, slutting themselves all over the internet!
,I THINK YOU ARE PRETTY HE WAS A JERK TO TELL YOU THAT LOW LIFE
He was trying to make you insecure. You ARE PRETTY
Oh, thank you doll! It’s OK – I got over it and it gave me this project it as a result.
You are wonderful! Thank you!
Thank you Angela! Back at you!
Break ups = Divine interventions. Way to make it happen! <3
Thanks gurrr! xoxo
You’re fabulous. Thank you.
Thank you Julie! Back at you.
I cant tell you how much your message means to me, I’m going through a tough moment in my life and your words are just what I needed to hear! Thank you !!! You are such a role model… What I am aspiring to be now is a strong woman like you, because to me THAT is beauty, really, not how you look on the outside.
Thank you so much, love! I put some tools together for those tough moments, so hopefully some will resonate with you. http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/language-to-use/
My revelation came one night while I was watching television. Sitting in my lounge chair my little dog, Teddy in my lap. From across the room,from the Lazy Boy, and I mean that in all possible ways, came the comment….”Why do you always have to look like someone kicked your dog”?….At first I was just confused. Asked….”Excuse me, hon? What”? He repeated it. I started defending myself, ”
I was just watching TV, I mean, I don’t think I had any particular look on my face. I was just watching TV”. Finally I dissolved into tears. Why would anyone hurt another like that? It was so out of the blue, and so cruel? Soon enough I found out he was cheating on me, while he was out of work from a back injury and I was working full time, cooking and cleaning and waiting on him! Yes, someone was kicking my dog. Someone has since dumped my dog. Several someones have dumped him. I wonder why? And my Teddy and I have never been happier! Nobody, is ever going to get this opportunity again.
Thanks for sharing, love! Glad you’re happy
I am so glad to see that you turned something a negative jerk said into a positive. You are a gorgeous woman. It gives me hope and inspiration to see you helping so many people. God has blessed you with the gift of a beautiful soul. Keep on going girl!
Thank you SO SO MUCH!
My x never said to me that I wasn’t pretty enough, but seven years ago, he made me feel the ugliest human being on earth with things that he said to me and then a week later he sent me an EMAIL informing that he was looking for the advice of the best lawyers in town for a divorce.
Seven years later I can not have a relationship with the opposite sex. I lost the faith ,the confidence , the trust in them. How did you cope with all these feelings?
I’m so sorry. I have some tools for coping: http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/language-to-use/
Thats why God created alcohol right?
I was married to a man for 10 years who, little by little, tore me down. He told me I was worthless, stupid, fat, dumb. He told me he never should have married me. I was a big mistake. He refused to hug me or hold my hand. One day something in me snapped, and I decided to leave him. He told me he was sorry and he would change but I just couldn’t bear the thought of the possibility of going through that again. I left and it was hard at first, but now I am happy. I am dating someone who tells me I am BEAUTIFUL! I know so many women who take these mean, awful words to heart, but the real ugliness is in the man who is saying them.
Glad you are happy, Tracey! xo
Just watch the video…………Hmmm, Yup! You’re right. About what? About
whole thing. Looks like you handled it perfectly. I had many relationships in my
life, and the women I liked the most was not even close to be prettiest at all.
Now, I am no Bradley Cooper or Johnny Depp either. The point is that we are all
beautiful in our own way. To someone physical attractiveness is the king, other
may prefer inelegance, sense of humor, broad knowledge, world experiences, even
political or religious affiliation or lack of it. So now, I have this off my
chest, feel better, and am going to have a glass of nice Malbec. Cheers.
Thanks so much! CHEERS!
Well, I feel bad for any woman who has been subjected to that type of torment and abuse. But let me say, while beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, I have pretty good eyesight, and Jen, you ARE very pretty. Most women are pretty, if only the men looking at them had the eyes to see the beauty before them. I personally lost sight of this. I didn’t say anything mean to my wife, but I cheated on her, thinking others might be better. I was a fool. Now I’m trying to keep her, and, amazingly, she has not ended it, at least not yet. She’s giving me another chance even though I don’t deserve it. To any men thinking of cheating: DON’T DO IT!!!
Wow, thanks for sharing James! Really appreciate your input and insight! You guys can past this if you work at it and are there for each other. Bravo!
You know this IS great!!! For me sometimes it becomes hard to over come certain patterns in my life not that I don’t believe I’m not pretty but old habits die hard. It’s great to see & hear this again, & completely valuable to me thanks!!
Thank you SO MUCH! I’m thrilled to hear that!
You are gorgeous! My ex husband was having an affair with one of my friends. My young boys at the time were 10 & 11. They asked me drive by our old house after a trip to get ice cream. That was how I found out…they lead me to him at her house, 4 doors down from the old house. After years of lies that he isn’t cheating anymore, I caught him in the act. When I showed up he wanted to of course let the other woman to think he was all hers. He said, “haven’t you f’d my life up enough!”. Wow. talk about hurt! This from the man I helped start his thriving business. I gave up all of my dreams for him. He of course doesn’t remember saying it. When I forced him to sign the divorce papers, he of course had something else to say, “you will never be anything without me”. Yes, I proved him very wrong. On another occasion, my young son saw his dad at the bar across the street with his girlfriend. He told me, his dad had seen him ride by on his bike so he came right over. He actually said to our son, “you s.o.b., you’re the reason your mom and I aren’t getting back together. My now, 32 year old son still feels guilty even though I have reassured him he had nothing to do with it. The pig just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. The ex remarried a wonderful woman and 8 years later, she found out he was cheating all 8 years with the same drunk he cheated on me with,for some reason, unknown, she is still with him, probably for the money. I am very happily married to a wonderful man who appreciates me!
I’m so glad you’re happy now! Thanks for sharing.
thanks so much for sharing this. I’m still trying to find myself. sometimes I keep wondering if I’m beautiful or not but one step at a time.
Hey Thani – check these out for those times when you wonder. http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/language-to-use/
This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Although I haven’t heard those exact words, you can’t help but wonder when you don’t get a single compliment about ANYTHING in a relationship. It even got to the point where I was constantly apologizing for things I didn’t do. I have realized it is all about putting positive people in your life to help you rebuild your confidence. Thank you so much for sharing! I love how honest you were about everything and this really made me feel better. Thank you!!
I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to hear that Jill! Positive people – you got it. Thank YOU. xoxo
my ex never told me I was beautiful, or any compliment. When I told him he said “you’re right, I don’t” and that was the end of the conversation. He left me for another woman and married her. So, I am stuck with this constant reminder that I wasnt pretty enough for him. Wrenches my heart everyday. I want to let it go, but everytime I have to hear my kids call her stepmom or hear her name it hits me in the gut. How can I move on and feel pretty when every man wants a certain type that isnt me and the riminder of what I’m not is right in my face everyday?! :’(
Oh Jennifer, I’m SO SORRY. Here are some tools to help guide you through this. http://www.yourenotprettyenough.com/v2/language-to-use/
Hello. As I am going through your website, and I will definitely buy your book…haven’t read it yet, I have realized that the main person that makes me feel bad about my looks is my previous best friend. I am overweight and she is constantly telling me how beautiful I used to be and making me feel less worthwhile because of my weight now. Notice I said “previous” best friend. I want to lose a few pounds to be healthy and enjoy activities and I am working on it. But I am not going to do it so I can be the “attractive friend” she wants me to be.
AMEN, NY Girl. xoxo
I think what your doing is amazing..society has taught women that we have to be perfect (skinny,perfect body,perfect teeth,big boobs etc). If women gave into what society thinks is “perfect” we would all look the same. I think that it our differences that make us beautiful – and set each one of us apart from the rest. I used to be a woman obsessed with my physical appearance, and mainly the things i couldn’t change about myself ( i have a fang tooth and a little bump in my nose) anyway i have come to appreciate myself as being beautiful,just not a typical barbie embrace yourself!
Thank you! Couldn’t agree with you more, Jess
I’m 57, just went through five grueling months of chemotherapy, lost all my beautiful thick waist-length hair, gained weight and look puffy and weird from steroids, and have no eyebrows or eyelashes. I look like Matt Lucas after a really, really bad day. As we were getting ready for bed last night, I picked up a photograph of myself when I was 25 or so, and sighed. “I used to be so pretty,” I said sadly. My partner hugged me, ran his hand over the top of my head (I’ve got the very beginnings of white fuzz starting to grow in that he likes to rub), and said, “What are you talking about? You’re still pretty.”
“You’re not pretty enough” was your ex’s excuse for being a lowlife hound dog? Honey, that has NOTHING to do with looks. A truly good man sees with his heart – yours was using a different part of his anatomy, several inches lower down.
You are right – it has nothing to do with looks. THANK YOU for sharing your story (and the Matt Lucas reference – HA!). My God, you’ve been through a lot and yet your attitude is first rate. Your partner, too. Big hugs to you as you head down this path. XOXO
You’re not pretty enough? Wowzer!! You’re hot!!!!
Aw, thanks Sam!
I salute you for taking a bad situation and turning it into a success. And you’re helping so many people! I always thought you were beautiful inside and out and I still do!
Thank you Mercedes! ESPECIALLY wonderful coming from you. Miss you! xoxox
Your ex-husband is a Douchebag! You’re very pretty & he is a loser!
Thank you, doll! I know that now
I’ve spent an inordinate amount of my adult life…ok the entirety of my adult life…trying to fix me and like me. I continually get with people, friends and lovers who hurt me, disliked me etc, I suppose as we all know, because I believed that to be so. I believed I was “ugly” and all the other things down the line because I was told I was all of those things. Something recently happened that wouldn’t normally make people suddenly throw off all the labels in their life, but it did for me. Now, I’m finding places, like your site, because I’m a cute chubby little funny adorable huge hearted creative healing 48 year old woman with some wisdom who is finding out who she is and I want it to be all good. Thank you for placing this out here, for putting a positive spinning place in the universe. NOW—onward to the next half of my life and being pretty enough.
I can tell that you are an adorable, loving, huge-hearted woman and can’t WAIT to see more of your light shine!
I really needed this so much. I live in South Korea, the mecca of plastic surgery, where billboard sized ads are pasted on the walls of every other subway station, promising you the life you want if you just cut your face to fit the mold. Though I’ve always thought this notion ridiculous, the pressure to look a certain way did creep in to the point where I question myself. These social messages, AGAINST women, are toxic. Instead of feeling ‘not pretty enough’ and continuing to victimize myself, I realized fighting back to establish, what real beauty, beauty of substance, is so that I can nurture that part of myself instead of comparing myself with photoshopped images of women and feeling inadequate. Thank you for this.
Hello Sarah! Thank YOU so much for this – it’s important for us all to share our experiences and support each other. That’s exactly what this site is for and I’m so glad you’re part of the community.
You are lucky you had a supportive family. When my ex cheated on me and got someone else pregnant, he said he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and I wasn’t fun. When I told my family, my dad’s response was “Well, you have gained weight…” It was Father’s Day. I walked out of my parents house crying.
You’re so right. I was lucky. I’m so sorry that happened to you. No fun at all. Hopefully you have people around you now who lift you up!
My ex told me I wasn’t pretty enough in more subtle ways. Suggested I could have breast implants on his company health insurance, commented on other people’s looks (weight) constantly, visited strip clubs and porn sights throughout our whole marriage. Until one day a friend did me a favor and had an affair with him. Now he is her problem and I have a guy who loves me for who I am.
Wow! Even those more subtle attempts to tell someone they’re “not pretty enough” can ring LOUD. Glad your friend did you that “favor” and you’re in a better place. xoxo
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